Thursday, September 23, 2004

JUMPING JILLAKERS, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!

It's my birthday and I'll shyste if I want to. What exactly is shysting? I think
it's when that pudding stuff just kinda falls out of your bum like the meat off a
hickory sauce smothered baby back rib. Very nice. And why exactly is it that we
are so dang attracted to the smell of our own bung when others are repulsed by
it? I mean, in all honesty, somedays a good dumping is more meaningful than the
largest spiritual epiphany known to man, and the post-mortem scent can often be
a thing of beauty.

So I'm 28 today, and feeling doesn't really enter into the equation. It's a beautiful
september today out there (which is the trend for this fall, nicer weather than all of
summer) and it's just seeming to feel like any other day. That is any other day,
without a BLING BLING job. A wise man once said to me 'Matt, ya know,
there will be a lot of pressure when you're first married for you to get on the
treadmill of industry, get a good job and start looking for houses and all that.
But I say take your time because ya know what the funny thing is about the
rat race? If you win the rat race, YOU'RE STILL A RAT'.

A good choice of words there. Hey Jon, if you're out there and you read this,
don't smoke too much doper in BC. That stuff will make ya go blind. Adam,
have fun at school and I hope one day that we will both be fortuitously
wealthy and able to have lifelong supplies of Sleemans Cream, Dark, Lager
and HoneyBrown in our fridges for the times we visit. Todd, where the hell
are you?

peace out.


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