This past weekend, I've felt as good as I've felt for as long
as I can remember. This doesn't mean I was wholly happy and
praising God in unfettered joy and bliss. No. I still have my
hang ups - I've been worrying about having heart attacks for
some unknown reason even though I had a physical a while
ago and the results were fine, even after bloodwork, and I
worry that I'm wasting my life in St. Catharines. I feel like I
should be somewhere else doing something else ALMOST 100
percent of the time and that time is running out on me. I turn
29 this fall, and that may part of why I think I have no time,
because I think back to my teen years where I thought I'd be
a successful musician or writer or person of influence by 25.
I set my bar of standard - I high jumped - and I missed the
mark.
But I think what I'm starting to realize is that to put these notions,
these premonitions and agendas upon yourself, is total bullshit.
Sure, one should have a semi-goal in mind, but guaging them by
age or time is no way to live.
THE ABOVE PICTURE ^ shows the sort of view I
had this past weekend. With my friends Josh and Olivia in
Westport, Ontario, and of course Sarah, we camped out together
in Olivia's parents new backyard. That is the sort of view I woke
up to Saturday morning, and after having a few Guelph micro-
brewed lagers with my homie Josh the night before, we stood
on the dock and looked out to a dark black lake, foley mountain
to our left, and a massive spread of stars in the overhead, with
only loons and utter silence as a soundtrack. This, I thought, is
my church. Those buildings where people go on sundays and
dress nice and then fill the booths at Swiss Chalet afterwards are
only a medium for THIS place. HERE is where I'm astounded,
dumbfounded, and thinking outside myself and only knowing
that there has to be a Creator behind it all. Sometimes it really
pisses me off to think of what churches have become...and how
when the idea started, it was done outdoors and very basic and
simple...and look what we've made it into.
'Jesus entered the temple area and drove out all who were buying
and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers
and the benches of those selling doves. "It is written" he said to
them, "My house will be called a house of prayer but you are
making it into a den of robbers" matt 21: 13,14
