Monday, June 11, 2007

Vignettes - Chapter 5
Ballad of the First Person Shooter




'So much shoosting, so little time'.

(Shoosting relates to a term that my friends Mark and Eva stole from
the movie 'The Impostors' that refers to a comical, stereotypical
German character who says the word 'shooting' like 'shoosting'.)


I don't really remember the first time I played a one person shooter game
but I know that it was most definitely Goldeneye. I had played variations
of one person shooters throughout my childhood (i.e. Duke Nuke Em on my
friend Steve Gray's PC where Duke would say lines like 'Damn! I look
GOOD!' in a baritone voice while blasting away at pig-like aliens) but
Goldeneye was my first taste of simulated ammo unloading glory. The very
first time I played Goldeneye (I think) was on a random visit to PEI with my
best friend Bri. I had no clue how to play the game and in a four player
shoot-out, all I really recall is not knowing how to use the new-fangled
joystick and having my character stuck in a kneeling position, spinning
around in circles and shooting straight up at the ceiling.

I was an easy target.


Goldeneye for the N64 is one of the best made video games
of all time.

The graphics were so far advanced for its era and it is a cult classic
that legions of current gamers and programmers still try to mimic. At one point,
my Ottawa homiez Steve and Joel were so into two player Goldeneye that
they had a monster basement set-up at Joel's house. The setup involved two
different monitors or tv's (whatever they had found in the dumpster that
week) hooked into the same N64 with a piece of cardboard over the
top half of the screen on one tv and a piece covering the bottom half of the
other screen. It was insanity. The reason it was insanity was due to the fact
that you were not allowed to use radar (an onscreen device that allowed you to
track the other player) and weren't even able to see the other player's screen
so that you had no clue when or where your opponent might strike. Many a
loud, girlish scream of horror was heard from the Stewarts' basement in that
day and age, I tell you.

From 2002 to 2003, I lived in Guelph with my long time brother Justin
Paizer. Paizer had a PS1. This was a step into the gaming world that blew
my mind, mostly because of one game - Syphon Filter 3. At first, the game
scared me. The movements, the quick aim features, the variety of weaponry
and graphics all seemed to be far beyond the grasp of my Atari mind. Slowly
but surely, though, Paizer helped me find the light. This game followed agent
Gabe Logan and his truth-seeking friends who are trying to stop a deadly
virus...but who cares about that. One word: Falcon. The falcon was a special
type of handgun, only available on certain missions, that would rocket any
opponent airborne toward their certain death into with one shot. One day
in particular, I remember being jobless and really having nothing to do except
play Syphon Filter...all day. For at least eight hours straight, I played some
of the most difficult missions on my own without Justin's aid. One mission
required special agent Gabe Logan to make it all the way through a dark
desert valley with a shadow player who has to remain alive. The shadow
player is named Ellis and he is essentially a walking corpse with zero aim.
(I once heard Justin curse the name Ellis loudly from the other room.) I did,
though, finally make it through the mission with Ellis in tact but the problem
was that the next mission began with the ammo you had at the end of the Ellis
mission. I had pretty much exhausted every piece of ammo in the Ellis
level and the level after started you with about 5 guys firing directly at
you in an alleyway with nowhere to run. Eventually, I found a way to
summersault all the way to each player and stab them from up close
while dodging their bullets. Now THAT was an achievement. I also still
remember the shocked expression on Justin's face, coming home
well after 6 pm, seeing me in the exact same spot on the black futon,
doing my part to stop the deadly strain of the syphon filter virus.

For the most part, though, Syphon Filter was exiting my life and
Goldeneye was about to make a massive comeback.

In 2003, I had moved away from Guelph and into my girlfriend's
town to live closer to her, making plans to eventually get married. I
found lodging in the nearby residence of my friend Matt Roberts. I lived
in his basement all year while he was gallavanting through Europe and going
to school there. He had an old N64 in his basement and I realized that he
did, in fact, have a dusty old Goldeneye game cartridge. I was hooked in.
After months of perfecting the game, though, Matt returned and learned
of my re-ignited love for the game of all games. He found this concerning as
he was pretty much the Goldeneye champ of Northumberland County.

We set a date.

The intensity of our match was unparalleled to any other two player shooter
experience I have endured. Matt was very quick and had me in a 6-0 hole
within minutes but slowly and surely, I found a way to get inside his head.
Thanks to well placed headshots with the cannon of the 357 Magnum,
Matt was finding himself caught up to while screaming curses into his pillow.
When we stopped for dinner, the score was 7-6 for Matt. I was hot on his
trail and he knew it. He ended up beating me but it was still an intense
evening.

The First Person shooter experience has brought some joy to my life even
though it is the worry of many gaming companies now due to amount of
school shootings and teen violence. I think that anything can be fun in the
right context but that there is a darkside to all things human.

For me, the brainless activity of making it through a mission or playing
against a friend is quite a release of endorphins.

Justin gave me his PS1...the world needs someone to stop the virus...
but who will do it?

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